I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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