Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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