remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
