No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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