so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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