I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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