No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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