Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i will never coherently bang her
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
