My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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