Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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