Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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