My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
