goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
