i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize