Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
one might say we're banned from that church
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
