Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
