So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize