Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
