i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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