Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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