I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
