Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
