Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
