I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
