He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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