i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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