You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
