All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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