the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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