Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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