worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
