Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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