From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
