I got chris browned last night
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
