is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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