The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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