You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
