OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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