Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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