You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
