He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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