you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
