Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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