My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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