Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
