He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
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driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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