is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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