Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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