Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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