im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
