Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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