we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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