the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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