I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
