there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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