What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
