NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
