For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
