I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
