I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
