even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
