remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
COCAINE IS GR8
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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