Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
