I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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