really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Did I show you my penis last night?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
