Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
