If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize