So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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